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Location:Sleepless bed apparently
Monday, October 24, 2011
Lack of sleep
I'm trying to shut down an over emotional, stressed, cranky brain off and shit won't happen. Not winning.
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Saturday, October 22, 2011
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Today's quote
Women are like angels, when someone breaks our wings we continue to fly.
Usually on a broomstick - we're flexible like that.
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Usually on a broomstick - we're flexible like that.
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Monday, September 19, 2011
Feeling good!!
Been very happy today. Feel like I'm floating on a cloud!
(^^.)
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(^^.)
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Monday, August 15, 2011
BORNEO!!!
I'M GOING TO BORNEO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHOOOO!!!
I got accepted into a class in Borneo (Brag moment: 25 students out of 150 applicants got accepted, further brag moment: only 4 of us were from Cairns campus :D:D:D) Soooo excited!!!
I fly out on November 25th and spend 12ish days at a scientific research station in the middle of the Borneo rainforest :D:D:D and THEN we spend a day at the orangutan rehabilitation clinic and THEN I'm meeting Maya and we're spending a week there on holidays!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH SO EXCITED!!!
Although I actually have to do an assignment before I even go on the class which sucks a little bit. And our project itself sounds pretty hectic and full on BUT I think it'll be fantastic!!
:D:D:D
I got accepted into a class in Borneo (Brag moment: 25 students out of 150 applicants got accepted, further brag moment: only 4 of us were from Cairns campus :D:D:D) Soooo excited!!!
I fly out on November 25th and spend 12ish days at a scientific research station in the middle of the Borneo rainforest :D:D:D and THEN we spend a day at the orangutan rehabilitation clinic and THEN I'm meeting Maya and we're spending a week there on holidays!!! AAAAAAAHHHHHH SO EXCITED!!!
Although I actually have to do an assignment before I even go on the class which sucks a little bit. And our project itself sounds pretty hectic and full on BUT I think it'll be fantastic!!
:D:D:D
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Dreaming...
Just saying, Africa won't come soon enough...
I love you guys but I need to get out of this place for a bit I think..
<3
I love you guys but I need to get out of this place for a bit I think..
<3
a different sort of ending
I got a message from a friend today, who I hadn't realised, but feels like we were drifting apart. I don't feel the same way at all, but obviously if she feels that way it means that something is different, I don't know what. Although, it could be that she's still convinced that the boy she's in love with is in love with me. Which is in every way wrong, but she's too insecure to see that.
I'm not sure, but it feels like she just broke up with me or something. Do you still call it a break up when a friendship ends like that?
Anyway, it certainly feels like it's all changed now, I think now it will be awkward so maybe it's for the best..
It's just shit.
Just saying.
I'm not sure, but it feels like she just broke up with me or something. Do you still call it a break up when a friendship ends like that?
Anyway, it certainly feels like it's all changed now, I think now it will be awkward so maybe it's for the best..
It's just shit.
Just saying.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
.....
Feeling a bit flat today. We would've been together for 4 years.
Still hurts.
I miss him.
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Still hurts.
I miss him.
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Monday, June 20, 2011
Passenger feat Josh Pyke 'What You're Thinking' - In The Raw.mov
I'm in love with Passenger at the moment - kind of how I'm feeling about one of my friends at the moment..
Lovely days
I was at trinity beach for a huge chunk of the day yesterday.
Don't you just hate winter?
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Don't you just hate winter?
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Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Happy Days
I had such a great day today! I went and had lunch at a restaurant at the Pier (cheap too!) a beautiful blue sky greeted us, the food was good, the company was fantastic :) It was just great! And THEN we went and had some dessert at the Swiss cake shoppe (^^,) deeeerishus!!!
I feel like I spent the day laughing.
Just one of those good days :)
I feel like I spent the day laughing.
Just one of those good days :)
Thursday, June 2, 2011
cherish them
Days like today, allow me to realise once again just how precious my family really is. How much they mean to me.
They are who they are and I love them all for that.
<3
They are who they are and I love them all for that.
<3
Thursday, May 19, 2011
time keeps on ticking..
I'm feeling lonely again today. I keep getting these great big bursts of loneliness. I think I feel it the worst after I've been out with people or had people over, then they leave or I go home and it's just me. I know i"m surrounded by people, and I've got friends and family galore, which I'm exceptionally grateful for, but it's a different sort of loneliness I think.
Does that make sense?
I'm probably not making sense.
On a brighter note, I will have completed half of my degree in 3 weeks time. 5 exams to go, then I'm halfway.
Ugh, stupid science core lady. At the beginning of the year I had spoken to the Head of Science at my uni, and she had arranged with me that next semester I could be doing 2 2nd and 2 3rd year subjects, plus a block class, which would allow me to finish in June next year. At the time, she had said that it was doable, no clashes, etc etc. Checked my timetable a couple of days ago, and now there's clashes, and I am no longer able to do it that way -_- I can either, still do a 3rd year subject next semester, plus 2 block classes, which would leave me at the end of next year just doing one subject. That to me seems pointless though, so I think the option I will go with, will be to pick up an extra 2nd year subject (marine biol - which I had wanted to do anyway) and leave me with a workload of no more than 3 subjects, until I finish my degree. Which is good, I think, hopefully it will boost up my marks, but I'm a bit frustrated about it because I had a whole plan, and now that plan is no longer valid.
Frustration.
So no, I don't think that helps how I'm feeling right at this point.
But brighter note - I will be moving into my new place in about 3 weeks. Freedom.
I think I'd like to get away for a few days, the plan had been to head up to Cooktown for a couple of nights next week, but now that's not happening either :( The universe just doesn't like me at the moment I think...
Does that make sense?
I'm probably not making sense.
On a brighter note, I will have completed half of my degree in 3 weeks time. 5 exams to go, then I'm halfway.
Ugh, stupid science core lady. At the beginning of the year I had spoken to the Head of Science at my uni, and she had arranged with me that next semester I could be doing 2 2nd and 2 3rd year subjects, plus a block class, which would allow me to finish in June next year. At the time, she had said that it was doable, no clashes, etc etc. Checked my timetable a couple of days ago, and now there's clashes, and I am no longer able to do it that way -_- I can either, still do a 3rd year subject next semester, plus 2 block classes, which would leave me at the end of next year just doing one subject. That to me seems pointless though, so I think the option I will go with, will be to pick up an extra 2nd year subject (marine biol - which I had wanted to do anyway) and leave me with a workload of no more than 3 subjects, until I finish my degree. Which is good, I think, hopefully it will boost up my marks, but I'm a bit frustrated about it because I had a whole plan, and now that plan is no longer valid.
Frustration.
So no, I don't think that helps how I'm feeling right at this point.
But brighter note - I will be moving into my new place in about 3 weeks. Freedom.
I think I'd like to get away for a few days, the plan had been to head up to Cooktown for a couple of nights next week, but now that's not happening either :( The universe just doesn't like me at the moment I think...
Monday, April 11, 2011
waiting for time...
He came over today, he found something else of mine. and was just dropping it over.
He was so happy, smiling, even gave mum a hug. Not me though. He didn't hug me. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
I thought I'd cried out all the tears, but I guess not, they're still in there.
I smile like I'm supposed to, laugh when I'm expected, but I still feel empty inside.
Everyone keeps saying it's time, that time is what I need, but time seems to be crawling.
It's actually frustrating, one day I'll feel fine, feel like I'm ready to move on, like I've got myself sorted and then something like today happens.
Baby steps.
He was so happy, smiling, even gave mum a hug. Not me though. He didn't hug me. I don't know if that's a good thing or not.
I thought I'd cried out all the tears, but I guess not, they're still in there.
I smile like I'm supposed to, laugh when I'm expected, but I still feel empty inside.
Everyone keeps saying it's time, that time is what I need, but time seems to be crawling.
It's actually frustrating, one day I'll feel fine, feel like I'm ready to move on, like I've got myself sorted and then something like today happens.
Baby steps.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
one whole week...
It's been a whole week today...felt like a year.
He dropped some things over at mums house for me today, he didn't text ahead so I didn't realize he was coming, and then he was on the doorstep.
I made it two days without crying though, and that's pretty good I think.
I just want to sleep..
He dropped some things over at mums house for me today, he didn't text ahead so I didn't realize he was coming, and then he was on the doorstep.
I made it two days without crying though, and that's pretty good I think.
I just want to sleep..
Sunday, March 20, 2011
so tired
I'm just so tired, I moved most of my things from the house yesterday to mum's place, then picked up the rest of it today with dad.
It's all unpacked now, I guess this is 'home' again for now. It still doesn't feel right though.
Now I just have to get out of bed tomorrow and try and get back into work and uni.
I just want to sleep, but all it's all I can think about, I just need a good night's sleep to be able to face the morning, I'll have to find something else to help me face uni, at least I've still got Riff, he can take me for a run I guess, hopefully the running helps..
I feel empty..
It's all unpacked now, I guess this is 'home' again for now. It still doesn't feel right though.
Now I just have to get out of bed tomorrow and try and get back into work and uni.
I just want to sleep, but all it's all I can think about, I just need a good night's sleep to be able to face the morning, I'll have to find something else to help me face uni, at least I've still got Riff, he can take me for a run I guess, hopefully the running helps..
I feel empty..
Thursday, March 17, 2011
so this is the end of the story...
That's it. No more. So many things together, so much time, so much love. All over.
We were at different places, different stages, the love was still there, but not in the same way it used to be.
We kept trying so hard to make each other happy that we were making ourselves miserable in the process.
A house, a home together and now this.
My whole body hurts, my everything aches, the tears come and go, but the simplest things trigger them.
He was just..and now...
Over.
How do you divide up a home? Move my things from the place we made our home? Pack it up and walk away without turning back? How??
It just hurts.
We were at different places, different stages, the love was still there, but not in the same way it used to be.
We kept trying so hard to make each other happy that we were making ourselves miserable in the process.
A house, a home together and now this.
My whole body hurts, my everything aches, the tears come and go, but the simplest things trigger them.
He was just..and now...
Over.
How do you divide up a home? Move my things from the place we made our home? Pack it up and walk away without turning back? How??
It just hurts.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Friday, March 11, 2011
It's been a while
It's definitely been a while since I've done the old 'blogging' thing. I'm back at uni again, semester is 3 weeks in and definitely well under way. The assessment is already flooding in, but I'm not stressed about it this time, there's actually a few pieces of major assessment that I'm excited about doing. Weird.
So uni is fine, still feeling a little tight financially, but I'll get through it, I do every other time. It's just feeling a little more stressful with chef only being casual, and the restaurant not doing too well. But just gotta keep smiling and powering through when it comes to those sort of things, not much we can do immediately but work through it.
Emotionally? I'm not sure where I stand. I feel fragile on my best days, feel close to tears a lot more often then the average person would. Things are just...well things seem fine, but my head's all over the place. Mum's still having trouble selling the house, and she seems to have a breakdown once a week at the moment, and her bloody doctor!! It's just so frustrating because I can't help, I can't do anything to help. Nothing. And every second day I'm in a confused state of mind about where my relationship is, and something that dad said to me the other day just makes me more confused. I didn't fully understand what he meant but my interpretation of it worries me. I don't know where my heart's at....
So uni is fine, still feeling a little tight financially, but I'll get through it, I do every other time. It's just feeling a little more stressful with chef only being casual, and the restaurant not doing too well. But just gotta keep smiling and powering through when it comes to those sort of things, not much we can do immediately but work through it.
Emotionally? I'm not sure where I stand. I feel fragile on my best days, feel close to tears a lot more often then the average person would. Things are just...well things seem fine, but my head's all over the place. Mum's still having trouble selling the house, and she seems to have a breakdown once a week at the moment, and her bloody doctor!! It's just so frustrating because I can't help, I can't do anything to help. Nothing. And every second day I'm in a confused state of mind about where my relationship is, and something that dad said to me the other day just makes me more confused. I didn't fully understand what he meant but my interpretation of it worries me. I don't know where my heart's at....
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