Feeling frustrated. These last two weeks have really dragged out with my exams - I've got just one left on Thursday night thankfully but it's just been a long, tiring two weeks.
I'm just feeling frustrated with life more than uni at the moment. I'm tearing my hair out staying out home, but i can't afford to move out - not with Thailand around the corner anyway. I feel like she's suffocating me and that I'm going to snap soon, I can't handle her being the 'victim' all the time, she's not helpless, she's highly capable but she doesn't act it sometimes and I just can't keep my patience. I try. Oh, I try. But I don't want to have to take care of her - I already feel like I have to sometimes and it drives me mental.
I need space and I need to find my feet. Maybe Townsville next year would be ok, although I suppose to find space I don't have to move that far away. But then, if I stay up here will I continue to feel like I have to go round and see her all the time? I don't want to feel like I HAVE to visit, I want to visit because I WANT to.
Think I just need to get out. I'm feeling boxed in.
It's hard Kel. I know how you feel. Maybe you need to say something?? Talk to her about how you feel??
ReplyDeleteI think Rachael is right. It might not get a good response but we teach people how we want to be treated and so if you continue the way you are it tells her that its ok to act like that, when really it makes you feel like crap.
ReplyDeleteI know it's not easy...
But she won't listen to me - she uses the bipolar as a shield and an excuse more often than not. I just wouldn't know where to start now without getting angry!
ReplyDelete